


I Only See In Color When I Look At You

by julesspinning



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: ANGSTY ANGST ANGST, Angst, I'm so sorry, Lots of Angst, M/M, Phan Angst, dan and phil will be the death of me ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-10 05:18:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7831924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julesspinning/pseuds/julesspinning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil’s heart hurts because Dan loves him but not the way he loves Dan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Only See In Color When I Look At You

Phil’s knee had been bobbing up and down with nerves and his hair was a mess from running his hands through it. Dan had said he’d be home around midnight and it was now three o'clock with no response. He closed his eyes to painful flashbacks. 

_“Dan, I… I like you as.. More than a friend.” He was standing before him, a nervous wreck, eyes flicking between brown ones and the floor with hands twiddling._

The door clicked open and Dan stumbled in and slumped into their apartment. 

_The emotions flashed across his face too quick to comprehend. He seemed happy, confused, then..?_

“Where have you been?? I was worried sick! You didn’t answer any of my calls or texts!!” Phil yelled, trying desperately to pull Dan in. Just so he’d _look_ at him.

“You aren’t my mum,” he slurred out in response, shoving past his best friend of seven years. 

“Dan, please, can we talk about this?” 

_“What?? What the fuck Phil?” He seemed mad. Infuriated. “I thought we’d talked about this?!”_

“What’s there to talk about? You wanna fuck me is all,” he snapped as sassily as he could while still being coherent. 

_“We talked about dating each other years ago Dan. Gave up the idea of it. But now.. Things are different. We’re different people. Don’t you feel something for me? Anything?” Eyes locked together now, Phil’s imploring and hopeful, Dan’s panicked and defensive._

“I don’t just wanna… Have my way with you and be done Dan!! You know that! I want the mushy shit with you! You just didn’t stick around long enough for me to explain!” He was getting aggravated now, at Dan, at his own stupid mouth for opening up in the first place. 

“I… It’s too much… I’m not..” Dan looked close to tears, the obvious alcohol intake taking its toll on his emotions.

_He took a deep breath at Dan’s silence. “I know you’re not gay Dan.”_

“I’m not asking if you’re gay Dan.”

_“I’m just saying that we could be something. It seems like.. You like.. _Me_. If not all boys”_

“I’m just asking if I was right about you… Being interested in.. Me.”

_“Don’t you like me the way I like you?”_

“No. No, I.. I can’t. I _can’t_ Phil.”

_“I need.. I’ll be back around twelve. I can’t do this right now Phil.”_

“Please, Dan-” The door to his bedroom shut with a bang. 

_“Dan, please!-” The door to the apartment slammed._

Phil slid down the wall, and wept. 

Because Dan was his one truest joy, and everything else had turned gray in comparison. He was lost without his favorite splash of color. 


End file.
